我是多余的

今天有去学校，1 murid 1 sukan serentak，我跑了。跑之前肚子痛，后来跑完了拉了三次，很辛苦、很想吐、很不舒服……很可笑，我找不到一个人可以帮我拿药，可以帮我买tissue，我望着长长的走廊，没有一个认识的人。

后来，pengawas开会，完了之后，看formasi。晚上，去庆功宴。我和我表妹、k弟、k妹、老师坐。后来，被一句话弄哭了。我忍不到，冲进了厕所，我很讨厌这种感觉。

最后去帮一个小弟弟庆祝生日，在TRC。没想到有一群小朋友，我真的不知道会有那么多人不认识。好吧，至少生日的那个是很开心的，那样也够了。k妹的心思，至少得到了。

一天，三件事情。我只觉得自己多余。我是多余的，真的是多余的。

I'm not suppose to go, they don't like me. Maybe I should listen to him, because after all I found that I was just like an idiot, making fun there. Or should I say, I was spoiling the atmosphere there. I swore I didn't make it in purpose. How hurt...? I get my lecture, isn't it? I was being left out...

Even if everyone is telling me that's not my fault, but I know what should I do.. I get it from their reactions... It's okay... This is not the first time I get hurt... I have used to it... But, sorry, I can't control my tears to roll down my cheeks...

So I learn to pretend, fake a smile in front of you guys.. And that's why I cried out all in sudden because of a single sentence.. I'm not good in pretending though.. I will learn it, give me some time...