Attachment style

There is a theory in psychology saying that your way of attachment style is depends on your relationship with your primary caregivers when you were young. I actually somewhat believe in this as my parents were not always available for me (they sometimes went outstation for work). Hence their attention on me become on and off. I got an anxious-preoccupied type of attachment from a results of a questionnaire. This type of people needs intimacy and closeness in a relationship. We often feel insecure when we are away from our partners. Interestingly, they said this type of people pick up deceptions quicker than other attachment style of people, which... is quite true.

I often think that when I give up on a relationship, it is hard for me to meet someone better, and that's why I tolerant with problems. I also always assume every couple have problems and that's why I have to bear with them. And, it is so true that this anxiety only go away when we are in contact with our partners.

It is really for people with this attachment style to work out a relationship. Since we always feel empty and anxious, we want excessive contact, or even power to control.

Things have been quite hard for me that, when I am not a my hometown, I could not sleep alone. Yes, insomnia is back. That empty feeling when you just lay down on bed and, nothing. Your body is tired but your brain working at high speed. The thoughts of your past and future just rushed into your brain like a tsunami, and, you could not do anything about it.

I keep thinking "what if? why? how?" and making myself more and more anxious until I cannot sleep. You know sleep can be really important, let me rephrase that, sleep is really important. I cannot do anything the next day if I can't sleep.

Now this become a serious problem. I wish I could return home now.