还有谁在看blogspot吗
确诊生病的自己，我是一点都不意外。
崩塌了，努力建立起来的自我，价值，还有一些虚无缥缈的自己，都崩塌了。
有很多不理智的想法蹦出来，比如，结束，比如，delete，比如，修不好了，比如，好累。
好累，活成模范生，讨好所有人，好累。
我已经把自己社交圈简单化，就这样我还是很痛苦，因为还是不理解，还是觉得自己很奇怪。还是我早就生病了，一直不愿意或是没有轨道去面对。
我的精神状态差到，我觉得觉得就算是明天我不在了我也不觉得奇怪。
但是有人在拉着我，有人理解了我的痛苦，我舍不得伤害别人。
在乎我的人离开后，我是不是就能解脱了。
所以我是不是反反复复在赶走别人，所以我可以安心地走。好像，是的。是的。
对不起，谢谢你们。
18岁的时候我以为28我要的人生是怎样的， 原来到了28岁我其实还是不知道自己要什么。
其实我不反对丁克，我甚至觉得没什么不好，就是可能因为我这个人太害怕别人的流言蜚语，所以不想因为丁克而被当做反社会的一员的吧。
我的格格不入，让我很想尝试别的事业。
心里不断想：如果那时候我做了这个决定，会不会一切都不一样了……如果那时候……如果……没有念博士，没有留在国内，再有点自信去挑战不一样的事业，会不会就不一样了？
我，会不会，在十年后，更喜欢自己？
很久很久没有独处了，我很久很久没有自己和自己说话了。就算有独处的时间也是为了工作。
我一直都没有发现，原来我一直讨厌自己的感性、情绪化、矫情，其实也挺好的不是吗。那样显得多高尚啊，精神上的。原来有余力去写日记、看书、和朋友联系吵架较劲，日子也过得很多姿多彩不是吗？
或许有一天，十年后的我，会羡慕自己现在还能在事业上、生活上做选择。
I remember when we were back in Venice, we didn't plan our trip based on the tide. High tide in Venice will flood some walkways and we didn't know about that until we landed on the island.
We avoid going out early and always return to our accommodation before ten or else we may be stuck somewhere. They would lay out the wooden plank to make a walkway for the pedestrians but the way I see it is that it is rather dangerous. The only time we used the wooden plank was the day we took a train to Florence. Many of the tourists bought the rubber boots just to walk easily when it was flooded, but we don't have a budget for that, we can only work with our schedule.
There we had one of our most expensive meals, but the quality was just okay. Also he insisted to return for a liquor we saw the night before, so after we reached the train station on our last day, he took his way back to the store alone as we didn't want to carry all our baggage through the wooden plank anymore.
It was such a big challenge for him since he gets lost easily, but he made it with only the verbal instructions I gave. Big applause for him?
